HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy
You get a secret thrill out of laminating things.
- You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
You walk into a store and hear the words, “It’s Ms./Mr. ____________ and know you have been spotted.
You have 25 people who accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
You can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes.
You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.
You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
You believe the Teacher’s Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off”.
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”
You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items!
You ask your friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a “good choice” or “bad choice.”
You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
You understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.
Monday's are always a tough transition for both teacher and student. However, a good laugh can always help! I ran across a blog post this morning and couldn't help chuckling. So, here, for a Monday morning laugh....
Bogged down by all the studying you have to do? Need some time to finish a project? What about practicing for the end of term exams? Perhaps you just need to brush up on your basics or review some previous course content?
Momentum Learning Centre is hosting study/tutoring sessions during the December holidays. This is the perfect opportunity to get together with a friend or classmate for a tutoring or study session guided by Kimberly Simpson of Momentum. Sessions will be available for individual or small groups (2-3 students) and will be booked based on subject area and date of registration. This is a great time to see what Momentum Learning Centre is all about!
Now that we’re over halfway into the first semester, many students have had or are getting ready for some big chapter, unit tests and finals. Taking a test in any subject can be a daunting task at any age. However, helping your child develop the right habits before taking a test can make all the difference in the world. Aside from studying, there are some important stress relieving techniques that are often overlooked! Try some of these out with your child.
Learning to react to stress or anxiety about tests takes practice. Here are some techniques that you can help your child practice. Once a technique becomes easy, your child will be able to successfully implement it into their classroom life.
Stretch – before and during, take a deep breath and bring your arms over your head. On your way back down, let the breath out. Do this several times.
Visualise - Do this visualisation for many different activities where you need a break, need to relax, or ‘get away’. Have your child close their eyes (or in a classroom, stare at a clear spot on the floor, or corner of the ceiling). Imagine a place where just you can go all by yourself. Have your child build this place in their minds. Use phrases such as ‘now think of the grass, is it tall? Short? Waving in the breeze?’ Try this a few times (even build your own place with as your child does). Using this technique during a test will help your student ‘escape’ and calm down/relax in order to continue.
Think Positive - If you think you are going to do bad, or are terrible at doing tests, guess what? You’re probably right! A better way to use these pre-test thoughts is to infuse them with positive things such as ‘I’ve studied to my best ability!” “I’m going to do the BEST that I CAN do!” If you are a parent, try and be as positive as possible as your child will also sense your thoughts about their test-taking abilities.
Breathing – Take 5 DEEP breaths if you feel anxious or stressed. This helps the brain and body to relax and calm itself.
Time Management – Many teenagers need practice at this, and managing study time prior to a test can dramatically help reduce stress. Sit down with your child and help plan out a study schedule so that only a small fraction of the studying happens the night before a test.
Practice makes Perfect – If your child is in high-school, they have at least 8-10 different teachers and each teacher writes tests differently. So, often the first two to three tests in a course are like trial runs. After this kind of test, review with your child these three things: What kinds of questions were asked (multiple choice, word problems, short answers etc.)? What did you struggle with the most? How could you do it next time so you are better prepared?
Sleep – Last but not least, sleep should be the most important thing the day before a test. The brain needs time to repair before putting it under pressure.
Food – Teenagers these days seem to avoid breakfast. On a test day, make sure your child knows the importance of eating breakfast and lunch. These meals should consist of protein and good fats. Some examples of a good source of protein and fats are; eggs, scrambled eggs with cheese wrapped in a small tortilla, unsweetened peanut/nut butter, smoothies with protein powder (not just milk and fruit), granola/yogurt, milk and high fibre unsweetened cereal. If you have hemp seeds, flax seeds or any type of raw nut or seed, add this to the meal as well. Without a good meal, concentration levels and brain functions drop, both of which are needed during a test!
Remember, the more practice you have at writing tests successfully and without a lot of stress and anxiety the better you will do on these tests! I believe in you. You can do anything you set your mind on.